Apple π

The boy rubbed his nose all over the wall that mystically keeps the smoke out of the smoke free section. He did it several times. It was at that time I realized you can get swine flu from licking faux wood paneling.

Hail Eris... or not. It's your call.

So, Eris is my godmother and this page is full of the inspirations and outspirations She bestows upon me. As if Angelfire wasn't chaotic enough. The Discordian philosophy acted like a Jehovah witness at my doorstep - it just kept popping up when I sat down for dinner - so finally I looked at the Sacred Cow and said 'Let's do this'. Discordia is not my main spiritual occupation, but the benefits were worth finding time in my schedule to volunteer as a Golden Apple Picker. I find that nothing quite satiates the heart like finding the time to notice the inherit discord in life. Like tonight, when I took the plastic wrap off my BBQ Rib TV Dinner to find that the fake shaped meat was face down instead of face up. I don't stir the mashed potatoes after two and a half minutes, so I guess it all evens out.

Discordian Saints I Honour ~ What Eris Says To Me, With Tone of Voice Noted ~ Screwing With Your Own Head


KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA!
PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.